


Wouldn't It Be Nice

by Theoroark



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Pre-Fall of Overwatch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 08:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18257771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theoroark/pseuds/Theoroark
Summary: When Moira is being particularly Moira, Angela comes up with the dumbest possible idea to save Mei.





	Wouldn't It Be Nice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [robocryptid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/robocryptid/gifts).



Mei got it. Moira really wasn’t the most popular person in Overwatch. Not even the man who hired her seemed too fond of her. Mei had taken a psychology course in undergrad and had dealt with middle school drama. She knew that kind of insecurity and social ostracization could make someone really mean really fast. It wasn’t like she didn’t feel bad for Moira.

 

It’s just Moira thought she was being so  _ sneaky _ , was the thing. She really thought Mei didn’t know when she was making fun of her, that Mei as really that dumb. Even though Mei had multiple PhDs and Angela had told Mei that Moira’s one thesis read like a high school bio report. 

 

“It’s so brave of you to travel for so long to such remote places,” Moira said to her. Mei nodded, her eyes fixed on her monitor and her smile fixed on her face. “There aren’t many people who have so few attachments, that they’re able to do that.” 

 

“It always feels good to hear such nice things about my work!” Mei said, cheerfully as she could manage. “Me and the other guys in the Ecopoint program run a Youtube Channel where we talk about it more, if you want to check that out!”

 

“Oh, you’re the only woman there?”

 

“What? No, I just meant ‘guys’ in like, a gender neutral way–”

 

“But none of the other women are lesbians, are they?” Moira put a hand on her shoulder and smiled down at her. “Mei, you shouldn’t feel bad about being single. Clearly, the odds aren’t in your favor here.”

 

Mei sat there, reeling from the sharp turn into personal bitchiness the conversation had taken, unsure how to respond in a way that was halfway civil, when she heard, “What are you saying to my girlfriend?”

 

Moira took her hand off Mei, and Mei’s relief at that briefly mixed in with her shock. Angela walked towards them calmly and replaced Moira’s hand with her own. Moira took a step back and looked between them.

 

“I, ah, I was not aware–” 

 

“–That we were dating?” Angela completed. Normally she had no patience for Moira, but now she wore a fake smile to rival Mei’s. “Oh yes. I’m surprised you didn’t know. We’re all over each other when the science staff goes out for drinks.”

 

“I, uh.” Moira rubbed the back of her neck. “I haven’t made it to one of those yet.”

 

“Oh. That’s a shame.” And Angela– beautiful, brilliant Angela, Mei’s best friend, who she had had the worst crush on ever since they had started working together– slid onto Mei’s lap and put her arms around Mei’s neck. And Mei, who would forever blame this completely on her being totally stunned and hating Moira, wrapped her arms on Angela’s waist.

 

“I should go,” Moira said.

 

“Okay,” Angela said. She waited until the sliding lab door had firmly closed behind Moira, then she hopped off Mei’s lap and put her hands over her mouth.

 

“Mei, I am so so sorry!” she said as Mei sat there, dumbstruck. “I just heard her being a bitch and I just couldn’t take it anymore, I wanted to do something to get her to shut up and whenever I tell her off she just gets all ‘oh, are you triggered?’ but in rich white woman speak, but I shouldn’t have just sprung this on you, I’m so sorry–”

 

“Angela!” Angela stopped talking and her hands went back up to her mouth as she fidgeted. “I’m– I’m not mad! Just… surprised.”

 

“Right.” Angela laughed nervously. “Yeah, uh. I don’t blame you for being surprised!” 

 

“Right.” It was easier fake smiling around Angela, it always was. But Mei still had to work for it now. Angela had wanted to do something nice for her. Angela always did nice things for: she bought the light roast coffee Mei liked for their secret shared coffee machine, she gave Mei some of the “medicinal” weed she grew in her lab, she was willing to stand up to Moira for her. She wanted to kind to Angela in turn. And she didn’t want Angela to feel bad, that she didn’t reciprocate the feelings Mei should have gotten over by now.

 

“So listen, she’s uh, probably to chickenshit to ever call us on it,” Angela said, breaking through Mei’s thoughts. “But maybe sometime when it’s like, just her and the two of us or something, I’ll like, give you a kiss on the cheek goodbye, just so she doesn’t get suspicious?”

 

Mei thought about the torture of having her longtime crush kissing her with no sincerity. She thought about the torture of Moira being proven right. Her smile faltered a little.

 

“Sure,” Mei said, chipper as ever. “That sounds great!”

 

-

 

Mei didn’t have to deal with until a couple weeks later, when Moira stopped by to drop off some data Blackwatch had gathered. McCree came with her, ostensibly to provide context, really to make faces behind Moira’s back as Angela and Mei stifled their giggles. Moira could tell something was happening but was, as Angela said, too chickenshit to call them on it, so she simply handed Mei the file with a scowl.

 

“Thanks, babe,” Angela said, and kissed the top of Mei’s head as she took the file from her. Moira coughed and looked down at the floor. McCree, in a display that made Mei actually believe some of his bravado, did not so much as blink.

 

“Well,” Moira said. “We should get going.” And she left without waiting for McCree, who did not follow her. He simply watched Angela and Mei as he pulled a cigar out of his pocket.

 

“No smoking in the lab,” Angela said.

 

“Tell you what,” McCree said. “You tell me what’s going on here, I don’t smoke. Deal?” 

 

Angela let out a dramatic sigh and flopped down into an office chair. “Moira was being an asshole to Mei.”

 

“Sounds plausible enough so far.”

 

“And was like, saying Mei was single for a reason other than Mei wants to be single–” Mei looked down at her lap and her tightly clasped hands. “–and like, she’s not going to listen to me saying things, so I lied like, a little, and acted like Mei and I were dating, to get her off her back.”

 

McCree considered that for a moment, twirling the cigar between his fingers like a bullet trick. Finally, he shoved it back in his pocket and announced, “That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.”

 

“I know!” Angela ran a hand down her face. “And Mei, I know I already apologized, but I’m so sorry.” Mei nodded numbly. “Like… listen, when you find a girl you like, we don’t even have to ‘break up,’ I’ll just tell Moira you’re too good for me–”

 

Mei jumped up from her chair. “I’m going to get this stuff into the system,” she said, a bit louder than she meant to. She hurried out of the room, taking care not to look at Angela’s face. She froze when she heard footsteps following her, but relaxed a little when she heard a jangle accompanying them.

 

“I’m kind of busy right now, McCree.”

 

“No you’re not,” McCree said. The jangling came closer. “You’re just acting squirrely. What’s going on?”

 

Mei looked down at her feet. This really wasn’t anyone’s problem but hers. And McCree was friends with both her and Angela, she really shouldn’t put him in an awkward position. But this was getting to her more than she thought it would. And she had to talk to someone about it.

 

“I have a crush on Angela,” Mei let out in a rush. “I have for a long time and so this pretending to date thing is kind of killing me but she did it to be nice to me so I can’t tell her to stop and also I don’t want to make things weird because she’s my best friend!” Mei looked up quickly. “No offense.”

 

“None taken.” McCree pulled his cigar out again and Mei couldn’t find it in her to reprimand him for it. “Angela really is the stupidest,” he said.

 

“Hey. Don’t say that about my fake girlfriend.” McCree laughed and Mei smiled weakly.

 

“My apologies,” he said, and then turned serious. “Mei, listen, I’m not sayin’ I don’t get why you haven’t yet, but– I think you need to talk to Angela about this thing.”

 

“It’s not Angela’s problem, though, it’s mine.”

 

“You don’t know that,” McCree said, and he sighed when Mei just gave him a confused frown in response. “Look, you– you’re Angela’s best friend too, right? You two are super close, spend all that time together? And her first instinct, when she saw you gettin’ picked on, was to pretend to be your girlfriend?”

 

“So what you mean,” Mei said slowly. “Is that she’ll understand, and will be nice about letting me down?”

 

McCree stared at her for a moment. Then he wrapped Mei up in a hug and patted her back. “Just… talk to her,” he said when he let her go, and walked away. He still had the cigar in his hand, and Mei heard Angela scolding him again as he re-entered the office.

 

-

 

Mei did input the Blackwatch data, to give herself time to think and marshal her courage. When she got back to the office, everyone else had emptied out, but Angela was still there. Mei coughed softly to get her attention, but Angela still jumped in her seat. 

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you in front of Jesse like that–”

 

“Angela,” Mei said softly, and Angela’s mouth snapped shut. “McCree’s not the thing that bothered me.”

 

“Oh.” Angela’s face positively crumpled and it was all Mei could do to keep the conversation going, keep from running to her and wrapping her arms around her and telling her she was sorry. “I really screwed up, huh?”

 

“What?”

 

“Like, I knew it was dumb the second I did it, but– God.” Angela sat down heavily in her chair and ran a hand over her face. “I’m so sorry Mei. You mean so much to me, and I don’t want to ruin that, I’m just… so stupid.”

 

Mei knelt in front of Angela. “You’re not stupid,” she said softly. “You did something really nice for me. You shouldn’t feel bad about that. It’s just I have this… big, stupid crush on you. And so it’s just been kind of hard, pretending when I know it’s not real.”

 

Mei didn’t want to look at Angela, terrified of what she might see. But the silence dragged on too long and finally Mei peeked. And she wasn’t surprised to see Angela surprised, but she was surprised to see her smiling. 

 

“You like me,” Angela said, when she met Mei’s eyes. Mei nodded. “You would like. Want to actually be my girlfriend.”

 

Angela’s smile grew when Mei nodded, and Mei had to fight to keep a smile off her face now, keep from letting her hopes get too high. “Mei,” Angela said gently. “I have had… the biggest, dumbest crush on you, for so long. I just thought…”

 

“That I didn’t feel the same way?”

 

“Yes! And that–”

 

“You didn’t want to ruin our friendship?”

 

“Oh my God.” Angela buried her head in her hands, laughing. “Jesse’s right. I’m so stupid.”

 

“Well, then so am I,” Mei said. She took Angela’s hand and Angela looked up. “Hey. You want to kiss, for real now? As people who are going to go on an actual date, really soon?”

 

“That’d be nice,” Angela whispered, and she leaned in and kissed her. 

**Author's Note:**

> Birthday fic for Robo!!! Happy bday you wonderful writer/person & @ the reader, check out their stuff and if you like it, their kofi/commission info is right [here.](https://ko-fi.com/robocryptid)
> 
> I'm [@tacticalgrandma](https://twitter.com/tacticalgrandma) on twitter/tumblr if you want to talk to me there!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and any comments/kudos would mean the world to me <3


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